life lessons

“We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails”.  

                                                                                            — Bertha Calloway 

I'm a tree hugger.

Did you know that hugging trees is good for your mental health? It might sound silly, but it's true! This is a picture of me hugging a rare tree -- the black walnut (Juglans nigra) tree. 

Moving on

Thank goodness, 2022 is coming to a close. 

I experienced wretched pain this year. But I also had some incredible experiences. I met some amazing people. I reconnected with (old) friends. You were all there when I needed you the most. Thank you.

I don't drink alcohol or use cannabis products. So to ease my pain I had conversations with friends, wrote out my thoughts, reflected. Instead of getting into a rebound relationship, I spent my days volunteering with non-profit organizations. I spent my nights exercising, keeping my mind and body healthy.  

I've been single for seven months. I'm finally emotionally ready to move on. I'm entering the new year with an open heart. Bring on 2023!

Blog X-mas Card

Dear Blog Readers:

If you live in Ontario, Canada, like me, there is a winter storm brewing outside your front door. It makes me want to curl up with a good book and hope there isn't a power outage! 

Stay safe everyone. Have a golden holiday!    

Warm wishes,

melissa 

cool kids

i'll never be fashionably 

impressive or hot

can't be

what i'm not 

Jokes

I love to laugh. Who doesn't? But more importantly, there are health benefits to laughing. To inspire a spontaneous fit of chuckles and giggles, check out this classic Sesame Street clip below. It's a scream!

The Automat

I just watched a documentary on the history of the automat. It's fabulous. New York, Mel Brooks, Colin Powell. It has it all. I only wish I could go to an automat for lunch... If only I had a time machine! 

End of year notes

I noticed mental health and wellness has been a central topic in the media this December. I wasn't going to share more about my personal struggles this year. But I have been reading a lot about how sharing is important. It's cathartic but may also help someone else. 

I had so many plans this summer. Being my first summer vacation in 10 years, I was excited. But plans fell through. A bad breakup will do that to you. My summer consisted of boxes of tissues and blurry eyes. Each morning I woke up -- my body aching, feeling as if I had been dragged 200 miles, kicked in the stomach and punched in the chest. The pain that radiated throughout my body was excruciating. Nothing seemed important anymore. I felt worthless and useless. It was an inner struggle to carry on every day, to see myself in the mirror, to do basic things like have a shower, get dressed and eat. I wanted to give up and give in so many times. I couldn't take the pain anymore. I even prayed to higher powers to let me slip away, to "go gentle into that good night". It was my mother that sat with me day and night. She witnessed my pain. I talked. She listened. She encouraged me to express my emotions, to "let the pain out" but not to give up on life. 

Broken heart syndrome is real. I know because I experienced the symptoms. If you are going through heartbreak, reach out. Email (old) friends. Email family members. You can email me. But don't go it alone! 

Let's hope 2023 is better all around, for everyone. 

Land Acknowledgements

Indigenous peoples and communities continue to suffer at the hands of the petrochemical industry. VICE put together a documentary on the Chemical Valley in Sarnia, Ontario. I watched this documentary years ago but it is worth revisiting. When creating Land Acknowledgements, may it serve as inspiration.  

Do you want to further develop your knowledge and understanding? Watch the video below. 

throw out the lion

horoscopes are 

for the deluded

the fool lost 

dreaming 

caught in fake 

and fantasy 

always hoping

for something 

but never 

quite getting there

hydrogen and helium

my neighbour’s elf light 

and strands of twinkly bulbs

decorating their front yard 

try hard but can’t compete 

with the stars shining 

in the midnight black sky: 

nature 1, holiday decor 0. 

United Nations (COP15)

At a recent UN biodiversity conference, the UN Secretary-General António Guterres sounded the alarm on environmental destruction. His remarks below:

Ecosystems have become playthings of profit.

With our bottomless appetite for unchecked and unequal economic growth, humanity has become a weapon of mass extinction.

We are treating nature like a toilet.

And ultimately, we are committing suicide by proxy.

Gifts of the Magi

O. Henry (1905) wrote a short story called, "Gifts of the Magi". Are you familiar with it? The story involves a married couple and the sacrifices they make to buy each other gifts at Christmas. Well, you're in for a real treat. In 1978, Sesame Street did their own version of this story. It's a holiday delight!    

hospital food

walking through 

the emergency room 

i have flashbacks 

to last winter 

spending hours, days 

watching my dad 

lying on a stretcher 

hooked up to iv 

and heart monitors 

frail and scared 

and me escaping 

every now and again 

into a dimly lit hallway 

so he wouldn’t see 

my face splashed 

with tears  

musique

I usually don't post on my blog about celebrities, but I felt this was appropriate. I just heard the news about Céline Dion's rare neurological condition, stiff-person syndrome.  

Céline's amazing voice and music have been a part of my life since I was a pre-teen. I have relied on her songs to get me through some of my darkest days, giving me "courage" and inspiration to continue on. 

I send my love to Céline and her family at this time. 

.........

Dabney Coleman plays Tom Hank's father in the film, You've Got Mail. In the dialogue excerpt below, Coleman talks to Hanks about how he is getting divorced for the second or third or forth time. 

• (Dabney Coleman) "I just have to meet someone new, that's all. That's the easy part." 
• (Tom Hanks) "Oh right, yeah, a snap to find the one single person in the world who fills your heart with joy." 
• (Dabney Coleman) "Well, don't be ridiculous. Have I ever been with anyone who fit that description? Have you?"
• 
  
  
  

  
  

  
  

arsonist

most of the year

my body was 

drenched in gasoline

he just lit the match

that set me on fire

burning at the stake

inferno:

maybe 

december snowflakes

can put out the blaze.

next stop

in the great hall 

the architecture is exquisite 

[circa 1920s]

i stand admiring 

as people text and talk 

with one eye on the clock 

a sense of hurry and hustle 

endless motion and distraction 

and me depending on you 

to figure out where we are going

next